I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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