omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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