Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories