There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
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And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
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Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.