He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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