Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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