pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize