could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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