nut hugger
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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