it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
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In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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