a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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