i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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