so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
