Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize