so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize