The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
