ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
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