her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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