Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid http://tfl.nu/xma9
  Replies (48) Good night (7768) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down. http://tfl.nu/ki6l
  Replies (18) Good night (7606) Bad night (1156)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job??? http://tfl.nu/mo3e
  Replies (32) Good night (1118) Bad night (4026)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night. http://tfl.nu/d1vk
  Replies (5) Good night (3798) Bad night (1116)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand. http://tfl.nu/ms96
  Replies (10) Good night (4453) Bad night (1240)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits. http://tfl.nu/d5s5
  Replies (9) Good night (3239) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  he has the hands of the vagina gods.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): he has the hands of the vagina gods. http://tfl.nu/xhgv
  Replies (12) Good night (4572) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today http://tfl.nu/jljr
  Replies (4) Good night (2555) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): 6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread http://tfl.nu/f1c5
  Replies (6) Good night (1993) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its. http://tfl.nu/ucnl
  Replies (11) Good night (1524) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this http://tfl.nu/vwo0
  Replies (5) Good night (1096) Bad night (2097)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct http://tfl.nu/jyp0
  Replies (3) Good night (1687) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving? http://tfl.nu/qz6b
  Replies (7) Good night (2343) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched. http://tfl.nu/gdap
  Replies (5) Good night (852) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning. http://tfl.nu/ay6g
  Replies (4) Good night (480) Bad night (664)

Randomize