I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
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he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
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somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.