where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
What did we do last night that was yellow?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes