Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
