my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.