dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
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Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
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I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"