I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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