i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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