Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
