This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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