she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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