im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You smell like stripper and shame
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
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Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
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Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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