I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
