Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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