Don't make out with my wife yet
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Randomize
