Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
