i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
