Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
