But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i would punch a child for taco bell
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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