The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
