A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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