Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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