They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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