I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
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I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
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The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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