just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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