im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
smell my finger.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
