if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
