Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
