I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
