so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
