You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
