To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just googled if crying burns calories
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
