I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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