Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
