i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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