Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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