there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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