girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
