My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
