all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
