There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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