I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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