im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
