Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
