Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
